In life we often settle for things that are less than what we truly desire. We settle because we think we’re not worthy of what we want, or that getting exactly what we want isn’t even possible. Settling is so far engrained into our lives that it feels completely natural for a lot of us at this point. But it shouldn’t be, so here’s how to stop settling.
Know Your Worth
The first step in stopping settling is knowing your worth. We often let people take advantage of us due to the undervaluing of our time and effort. If you think you shouldn’t be paid more, then why on earth would someone else decide that you should?
Knowing your worth isn’t just about money though, it’s about standing up for yourself and believing in your ideas. If your automatic reaction to feeling insecure is to back away from confrontation, then you need to change that. It can be utterly terrifying to face things head on especially if you’re unsure of yourself, but without trying how will you know if you can succeed?
Know What You Want
Know what you’re looking out for, and what your goals are. If you only have a vague idea of what you want then you’re a lot more likely to settle. By setting intentions for what you want you’re automatically setting the bar of what’s good enough for you.
Consider whether or not each strive you take towards your goals is genuinely helping you. It’s so easy to be running on auto-pilot, forgetting to check if what you’re doing is still in alignment with your ideas. When something isn’t in alignment with you, turn it down. There’s no use going after something you know isn’t good enough for you.
If it’s Not a Hell Yes…
‘If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a no!’
this quote is like fucking gold dust, it perfectly sums up the mindset you need to be in. If the opportunities you’re being offered in life aren’t a hell yes, then they’re a no. This doesn’t mean quitting every time everything gets hard, but that whatever you’re currently working on should be an overall ‘hell yes’.
This quote is something I use in my life a lot, and honestly it’s helped me out in a magnitude of ways. Instead of falling into situations that I know aren’t beneficial I now just move forward until I find something that is. That means less time spent on dating time-wasters. Less time spent of fortnightly ‘passion projects’ that certainly aren’t passion projects, and less time spent moping around wondering why things didn’t work out.
Stop Being Passive
A lot of people talking about manifesting and achieving their goals from a passive perspective. They sit around thinking about what they’d like to achieve, without ever even trying. That method doesn’t actually work. What does work is being active.
Rather than sitting around waiting for your dreams to come true you have to actively pursue them. This doesn’t mean you have to do things by the textbook or that you can’t become successful in unconventional ways. But what it does mean is that you need to take action, without settling. Start going after your goals, and don’t dip below that self-worth bar into the realm of not good enough.
Don’t Pressure Yourself
Sometimes we fuck up, and that’s okay. If your self-worth is particularly low on one day or you agreed to do something that would be classed as settling, then that’s okay. You’re not going to get everything right immediately. Holding yourself to a standard of what is or isn’t the ‘right’ way to change your limiting habits isn’t helping.
If you’ve been settling your whole life, then learning get to stop can be a daunting process. Despite that, it’s entirely possible. It just takes time, courage, and active change!