When I first started meditation I didn’t particularly like it. I had to fight against my body’s incessant need to be on and fidgeting, and the concept of slowing down my mind seemed pretty unfathomable.
At a loss for what else I could try as a method to calm myself (CBD is too expensive, I don’t care.) I persevered. At first it was really difficult, I didn’t like the concept of guided meditation so I’d lay on the floor for however long listening to calming music and trying to chill out. And it worked…kind of. But after a couple weeks of that and a few attempts at breathwork I got bored.
Meditating helped me feel relaxed in the moment, but wasn’t having any long term effects on my day. So I let a couple months pass before deciding to revisit it. This time I took a different approach, I decided to use apps.
I wrote a whole post about it but I tried out five different apps and afterwards contained using my favourite. The app I’ve stuck with is Calm and I use it at least a couple times a week now. Unlike doing unguided meditation each session gives you something to focus on, but not for the entire time and there’s no consistent chatter.
I can honestly say that since starting meditating more regularly my life is about 150% less stressful. Up until now I’d identified myself as somehow who is consistently stressed. Whilst bragging that I ‘work well’ under pressure I often failed to mention to people that stress and pressure literally controlled my life. I’m talking panic attacks or hysterical crying most weeks due to pretty mundane things. It was just so easy for me to have a bad day. But now that I’ve started meditating that’s just kinda…stopped.
Okay so I don’t actually have a great explanation for HOW exactly this has worked, but it has. I regularly notice moments where things go wrong and I’m completely calm about them. I can assess the situation logically and act in a beneficial way, where just a couple of months ago it would’ve ruined my day and I would’ve panicked for a good 5 hours before getting anything done.
So yeah, it’s been a fucking game changer.
That’s not to say that I’m a 100% zen goddess now, but my life is greatly improved. Being able to stop and breathe in stressful situations is something that I implement regularly. Being able to slow my thoughts down at stop everything whizzing around at 100mph, and the ability to actually cope with life has really made a world of difference to me.
So that’s how a couple months of meditation changed my life! I’m a lot happier and calmer than a was a couple of months ago. I know that I’ll be okay in situations that would’ve made me genuinely distraught before, and I know that I can force my body to sit still for 10 minutes. Even if it’s difficult at times.